Homemaker

So last week we received some paperwork involving our new home purchase.

I was going through the pages to sign and came across a page that disclosed our work histories. George’s current title was “Programmer”. OK. Close enough. Mine?

Homemaker

They hadn’t even asked me about my previous work history. I made for damn sure I hand-wrote in my previous employer. “See, I’m not REALLY a ‘Homemaker’ I work…I have a job history and career ideas. Go ahead and use that word. Fine, but it’s not correct.”

As a girl raised in the 80’s, by parents who came of age in the 60’s, by Barbie saying “We girls can do anything”…I will say the label stung. Beaumont girl! Trained by the badass Ursulines* ! You must not let this stand! That’s not me! That’s not who I am! How dare you assume?! If the situation were reversed, if we had moved because Amazon hired ME and George was forced into a situation where he had to start over…would HE be listed as “Homemaker”?

BUT

When we left Cleveland the agreement was that my full time job would be job hunt and house. “House” was initially “house hunt”, but over time has come to include Solon house sale, house hunt, and various house purchase responsibilities. Also, supervising the packing and moving of Solon house, scheduling the delivery of household goods to new house, setting up utilities in new house, all of these things.

In addition, being that I’m in this apartment all day, housekeeping. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping, getting the mail, running other errands…and overall making this temporary housing…home. Making a home. It’s important to me.

I’ve been taking ALL of this very seriously.

When I feel broken down, sad, desperate, depressed, disheartened, defeated, about not having yet been hired at a new company, George thanks me for all I’ve done with fielding phone calls, shuffling paperwork, badgering unresponsive folks, AND he makes yummy noises during dinner. It’s a verbal cuddle-hug from him. It feels great.

But there is something else bigger than all of this. Over the years I have watched as female friends and family members raised in the same way choose the “stay-at-home-mom” path.

And rock at it.

As a late 20th Century feminist, I was taught to also respect the role of “mother” in the universe. “If you put a dollar amount to all of the duties of a mom, she should be getting a 6 figure salary!” But honestly it never sunk in. It was just my “towing the party line” when I said the words. “Women should get equal pay for equal work! We can do it all! We should do it all! (oh yeah…and it’s valid for a woman to choose to take the June Cleaver route as long as it’s her choice, yadda yadda)”

But then one by one I started to see some of my fellow Beaumont gals become either full time or part time stay-at-home moms. Then some of my later friends…then my sister. My  incredibly intelligent, beautifully stubborn, educated, career-driven role model sister who excelled at everything she tried whether it was softball, dodge ball, flute, piano, math art, after like 16 years of being a successful career woman even buying her own house, chose to “trade it all in” to be a stay-at-home mom.

Giving me a front-row-seat to this unbelievably difficult, challenging, rewarding career choice. It’s a job I don’t think I can handle. And I say that with all honesty. I salute you, my stay-at-home mom friends and family. I understand now. I get it.

I’m humbled.

I’ve become an unabashed cheerleader for my “Homemaker” friends. They are strong, intelligent, creative, career-driven women. With really flippin’ cute kids. (But my niece and nephew are cuter…sorry.)

Because here’s the thing. I don’t have kids. I’m just housekeeping, and being our home’s administrative assistant. I’m not trying to keep small humans from killing themselves, AND trying to mould them into successful, exceptional members of society. That’s a whole other complication. A whole other VOCATION. I’m, well, in the junior league.

T-ball.

Homemaker, entry level.

Thought by the end of this post I’d feel better about this whole thing.

//sigh//

Time to get a good night’s sleep and get back to Monster & Indeed.

Indeed.

xo
en