Yeah, dusting off the ‘ole blog, coming out of an insane year and a half of stress and uncertainty, and this is how I do it. Jarring, right? Well so was the phone call.
A girl I’ve been acquainted with for going on a good few years died tragically this morning. Kelly, 31 years old. Fire in her apartment. The current theory is that she was trying to put out a kitchen fire and was overcome by the smoke. Over the past 6 hours I’ve been feeling these waves of grief rolling through my gut.
My annoyingly vivid imagination playing over scenarios of her last moments…what was going through her head…what was she feeling…it’s all just too real. Not the usual “woman dies in apartment fire…news at 11” feel. Not the basic “oh that’s so sad!” It’s too real. Too close to home. Too perplexing.
I would have liked to have called her a friend, but really, our paths only crossed in very specific ways, and only so often. She was a waitress at Rick’s Cafe in Chagrin Falls. My dad works in Chagrin and frequented the restaurant. Our family would go out there, and she’d greet us like old BFF’s. For the past 3 years George and I have been competing in the Chagrin Valley Jaycee’s annual Chili Cook off, and she was always there representing Rick’s, ready with big smiles and hugs when we arrived.
Again, I don’t know her, really, at all to be honest. There was just something about her that was refreshing, warm, and downright fascinating. In my imagination I saw her life as a kind of “Holly Go Lightly” type. Free spirit. Lived alone, but not lonely. She was friends with everyone, and everyone knew her. I got the impression she was unlucky in love, but optimistic in spite of any heartbreak, confident in her inevitable happy ending. Was she a “trouble-maker” type? Sort of felt that way, but in no way malicious. Mischievous? More likely.
All guesses based on incredibly enjoyable, yet fleeting moments spent with her over the years. At each brief 10 minutes to 3 hours at a time, we were besties at that moment. And now those moments are merely memories. So strange.
I feel like I should make some sort of a declaration of how I should be inspired to change my own life in some way so as to draw value from her having lived.
The World Ends Tomorrow! You May Die!
But…
//sigh//
at this moment I just feel sad.
No declarations for now. Just a toast.
To Kelly — I’m truly happy I knew you.
xo
en